


Pete's Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-18
Updated: 2005-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-01 06:44:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title pretty much says it all</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pete's Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Response to the SVFF Challenge, written for rosesfade. Requirements are at the end of the fic. Big, special Clexy thanks to kormanfan, meret, and sparktastic for beta duty and isagel and nifra_idril for letting me bounce ideas off of them. 

## Pete's Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by Siobhan

<http://www.livejournal.com/users/siobhan_w/>

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Title: Pete's Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Summary: The title pretty much says it all More Authors' 

* * *

Today should have been the perfect day. It should have gone down in history as "The Best Day of Pete Ross' Life". It should have been the kind of day that others looked back on and wish they'd had. My sister had spent the night at a friend's house so I didn't have to fight for the bathroom this morning. Do you _know_ how long it's been since I've been able to brush my teeth without tripping over a hot curling iron? I knew, from that moment, that this day was going to seriously rock. 

The day got better when, while trying to find something to wear, I realized that Mike had left one of his bags here when he went back to MetU yesterday. Not only did it have some clean clothes but it also had two issues of Playboy, somebody's X-box, and a bootleg Nas CD. Talk about a score. Hey man - loser's weepers, finder's keepers. That stuff is mine. 

I left the house, looking fine, eager for the day and with plenty of quality entertainment to look forward to when I got home that night. I managed to catch the bus on time and found Chloe saving me a seat. She was wearing one of her strappy tank tops. It's been so damn hot that most of the girls have been wearing shorts and tank tops to school. Do you see what I mean about the day just getting better and better? 

What should have been my best day ever got even better when word got out that Mr. Hatcher had broken his leg. Yeah, sure, bad for him but it's his own fault. We had a sub and the oral presentation I forgot I was supposed to give today was postponed until next week. I was saved from having forgotten about my homework _and_ we had a sub, which meant no real work! 

So we're all sitting around in English, pretending to write about the literary figure we identify most with when the entertainment portion of the hour started. I chose Green Lantern. Hey - the guy's a hero and he does appear in a sort of literature. Lana chose Jane Eyre (even I can see what that's all about) and Chloe chose God. Damn but does that girl love her trouble! The sub tried to tell her God wasn't really a literary figure and they got into this big old debate right in front of the whole class. I probably should have felt sorry for the sub but it was too much fun to watch and he was so busy arguing with Chloe that he didn't even notice that none of us were actually writing. 

During their argument I looked over and saw Lisa McNeely watching me. She was looking directly at me and, when she saw me looking back, she smiled. At me. On purpose. Oh, yeah...she digs me. 

At that point I was convinced that my day couldn't possibly get any better. But I was wrong; that was nothing compared to lunch. It started with one of Mrs. Kent's tuna salad sandwiches. Clark, freak that he is, hates them, but won't tell his mom. So at least once a week she makes him tuna and he always gives it to me and buys instead. So I scored a double! My perfect lunch was in danger of being ruined when the latest meteor mutant chose that moment to declare his undying love to Lana (why do they always fall in love with Lana?). Poor freak...his power turned out to be the ability to make a dark, smelly smoke. Makes you wonder what his wish was when he got hit. 

Anyway, his idea of romance was to spell out "I Love Lana" in a big heart in smoke across the cafeteria ceiling. A couple of the guys used the confusion to start a food fight. I'm not sure which was the bigger threat - the mutant or the flying jello but I did get to pelt Toby Patterson with some green beans so it was all good. Luckily, Clark took care of Lana's latest pretty quickly and everything else calmed down. 

Of course, all the smoke tripped the fire alarms and sprinklers, so everybody in the cafeteria got drenched. Including all the girls in their tank tops and t-shirts. Oh, yeah. Definitely a good day. How often do you actually want to _thank_ one of those meteor mutants? 

Thanks to the fire alarm, fifth period was cancelled. Talk about perfect! Fifth period is Trig. We had a test and I had sort of studied, but I hate math and any chance to miss a math test is a prime opportunity. Instead of going to Trig, we all hung around outside and listened to Chloe get all excited about her latest addition to the Wall of Weird. She'd had her usual four cups of coffee at lunch and was bouncing up and down a bit. 

In her strappy, little tank top. 

Which was still kind of wet. 

Best lunch ever! 

What should have been my perfect day got even better. Just as they were about to make us go back to class, Coach called me over. He wanted to let me know that he thought my playing had really improved and that he wanted to start me in Friday's game against Grandville. Amy Hale overheard the whole thing and, on the way back to class, made a point to tell me she didn't have a date for the dance after the game. She digs me. 

On the way out to football practice I found a twenty dollar bill, just lying on the ground, practically crying out my name. I bent over and picked it up and, when I stood up, I heard something behind me. When I turned around Debbie Becker and Annie Hernandez were there, staring at me. I swear they were checking out my butt. They obviously dig me. 

Practice was great. Coach announced to the team afterward that I would be starting in Friday's game and all the guys cheered for me. Later in the locker room, Joe gave me his copy of the new Maxim, as a sort of "way to go" present, I guess. It's got Anna Kournikova on the cover and she looks fine. If she knew me, she would dig me too. 

After practice, I swung by the Talon to hook up with the gang. Chloe and Lana were both there but Clark was a no-show, which meant I was the center of the girls attention. Don't get me wrong...I love my man Clark but he does sort of take up all the space when he's around. Sometimes it's nice to take up some of that space myself. I told the girls about Friday's game and they were both really happy for me. Lana even gave me a free cafe mocha. With extra whipped cream. 

It was the sort of day a guy needs to cap off with some quality hoop time with his best bud, so I left the girls to their coffee and headed over to Clark's place. When a day is that good you've just got to share it with your friends. And maybe brag...just a little. And that's when the most perfect day ever went straight to hell. 

I drove over to the Kent place and headed straight for the barn. It's my own fault, really. I probably should have called out or something. I heard some noises coming from the loft but didn't stop to try to figure out what they were. And I really, really should have. Instead, I just headed upstairs. I was halfway up the stairs when I saw it. My perfect day came crashing down. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! And then I just wished I was blind so I wouldn't have to see it at all. 

Clark and Lex were lying on the couch, shirts off, kissing. And... I mean, they were... It was... His hand was... Oh, man! There was skin and noises and everything! It was all bad! They were so into it they didn't even hear me almost break my leg falling back down the stairs in my hurry to get the hell out of there. 

What a way to ruin my best day ever! I mean, I know Clark has always been a little different, and if he wants to be different with guys instead of girls, fine, but...since when is Clark gay? And if he is gay then what the hell has the whole Lana thing been about? Did he make me suffer through all that just for the fun of it? And why didn't he say something? I mean, I got over the whole alien thing, didn't I? If I could handle that, being gay isn't actually that big of a deal. So my best friend is a big, gay alien. So what? I'm an open-minded kind of guy. I could totally deal if it meant I didn't have to watch. 

But Lex Luthor? I mean, come on! So what if Clark is always saving him. Actually, maybe that should have been a clue - Clark tends to develop a thing for people who need constant saving. But dude - it's Lex Luthor! And they were making out! With all that skin out there for any poor, innocent guy just trying to visit a friend to see! Making noises that no guy should ever hear. A Luthor! All those times Clark made excuses for Lex and I thought he was just trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Turns out he wanted to give Lex a lot more. And that thought sends my mind places it never wanted to go! 

I try to be a good friend and I'm sure, if I ever manage to look Clark in the eye ever again, I'll get over it. But did I actually have to _see_ it? That's just asking too much of me, man! A guy has to have his limits, you know what I mean. And seeing your best friend get it on with his bald, shirtless boyfriend? Kicks those limits straight to hell! 

You think I'm freaking out? Just wait until his dad finds out. And he will. I mean they're in the freakin' barn! Whatever happened to discretion? I thought Luthors were _supposed_ to be sneaky! 

So here I am, back at home. I've got my bootleg CD on the player and my brothers Playboys and my copy of Maxim here with me. Between them I'm pretty sure I can erase any bad images from my mind. Repress and deny is going to be the key here. But I'm still not going to forgive Clark for ruining the most perfect day ever anytime soon! 

End 


End file.
